History of man

** See the realities below, Ken...

Bob Rickard
.................................................. .................................................. ..............................
"Ken Fortenberry" wrote in message
. net...
Rodney Long wrote:


NOW IT MAKES SENSE
snip

Dear Red States,

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we've decided
we're leaving.
** Whoopee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States
with us.
** Nothing new here... since liberals create nothing, they take what they
can steal to stay alive (dammit!)

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington,
Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to
the people of the new country of New California.
** You were giving California to Mexico, & now you're going to take it back?
You sure can't trust a lib.

To sum up briefly:

You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
** Careful... stem cell research has always been legal everywhere, & you
know it. You are just mad because it isn't getting tax money for it, which
it is doing fine without.

We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.
** What's the difference? They are both crooks & losers.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get WalMart.
** The Statue of Liberty is being ruined by the libs, & Wal-Mart will always
be where the people own the money, not where the government exists just to
take it.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
** The libs will keep intel & Microsoft about 30 seconds after the
conservative dollars are gone.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
** Thank God!

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get
Alabama.
** They will join Alabama when they realize the libs hands have just gone
even deeper in their pockets.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay
their fair share.
** The libs would lose all tax revenue without conservatives to create it.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian
Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single
moms.
** This one is a hilarious mistake on your part, Ken... libs don't marry;
they lust live together or whatever else it is they do. And, you libs will
have a big bunch of single moms too now that homosexual women are getting
divorced from each other in those queer states.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and
we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need
people to fight, ask your evangelicals.

They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no
purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their
children's caskets coming home.

We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're
not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.
** I just let you ramble on freely there while you could. When you libs do
all that, your surrender will be obvious, & you will all be on their knees
giving blowjobs to muslim terrorists so fast that even the Chinese won't
have time to take you prisoner. Bye Bye!!!!

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of
the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and
lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's
quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of
all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S.
low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy
and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88
percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92
percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90
percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually
100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University,
Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
** Dream on, slaves & losers!

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless
we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that
evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11
and 61 percent of you crazy *******s believe you are people with higher
morals than we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed
they grow in Mexico.
** Blah, blah, blah.